Icebreakers. They are the WORST, right? If you are one of those people who love them, I admire your spirit, but we are not on the same wavelength. Trying to rack my brain for something interesting about myself in the maybe 30 second time period I have, while also trying to pretend like I’m listening to everyone else’s, is a good way for me to start my day in a hospital room. Surely I have passions but when put on the spot all I can think about is the time I tried to bake a three-tiered cake and even my mom had to concede that maybe I couldn’t do anything I put my mind to.
For a long time I thought my passion was being around/taking care of children. Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love helping children. I fundraise for several different children’s organizations and my nieces are definitely loved on. However, are caring for them my passion? Would I just love to be locked up in a room full of them? My god, no. That would be my nightmare. Sticky hands, runny noses, smelly diapers on not just one tiny human but a handful? All at the same time? This is my “bad place.” I once watched eight different movies, in one sitting, but only the first 20 minutes of each. I hate to admit, but I did want to find out if aqua Barbie ever reconciled with her family and took over the kingdom… So I love children, and I would say I’m passionate about advocating for them, but when it comes to taking care of them they just don’t make the “passion” cut.
When I realized this, I didn’t even know where to begin to find what I was passionate about. And if I found it, would anyone understand my love for it? Would it be a passion I could stand proudly behind and showcase to the world? I really, really wanted my passion to be meal prepping or cooking, something I could easily show off and would definitely be a beneficial skill in life. But my deep hatred for recipes that call for more than five ingredients disqualified me from having this passion. Sure, I can cook and meal prep, but does doing this leave me feeling invigorated and excited? Absolutely not. If I see one more Tupperware of chicken and veggies in my fridge I’m rioting.
Often, the passions we tell ourselves we have are just the things we’re used to doing, the things we do the most, or the things we know we are good at. Perhaps we do this so we can feel better about the fact that we have to do them, or because it’s easier to choose something that’s already in our routine. It’s hard to add something new when you feel like you’re balancing enough spinning plates to open your own restaurant.
So I ask: what is your perfect Saturday morning? For those of us who are constantly moving or have a to-do list a mile long, we may dream about sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing, or if we’re lucky, maybe even sleeping in. So I want you to imagine that you are well-rested. You are caught up with work, with sleep, with household tasks and family obligations. Now, what would you do?
Would a perfect Saturday morning be digging into the soil to plant a row of new flowers in your garden? Or perhaps you’d hike up to the top of mountain, or cycle along the riverside? Maybe you would take out your camera and document a sunrise? Afterwards, do you walk back inside feeling re-energized for life, like you’ve contributed to the world, but also to your soul? It sounds cliché, but asking myself this last question has helped me redefine what my real passions are.
There are some things I excel at, so I assumed they were my passions. However, after doing them, I was exhausted. I was ready to shut down and pull back. I had misjudged my obligations for my passions, so I was never truly allowing myself a break. Your passions should give you life, not drain it. Your soul should feel jump-started, and your mind should feel refocused. If your “passion” does not do this for you, then it is not your passion. You don’t have to be good at it, to be moved by it.
We may have a love/hate relationship with technology, but we are like it in the sense that we need to charge, too. I’m sure many of you are running on very low battery life, and your body has probably been beeping at you for awhile, but you feel unable to take the time to find your charger, or to plug yourself in. Yet, your computer won’t work if the battery is depleted, and neither will you.
So take this as your friendly reminder to take care of yourself, like you take care of your valuables. You are valuable, too. Take 20 minutes each day, or even a few hours each week, and devote it to something that fills your soul. It could be reading, knitting, gardening, cooking, lifting, carpentry, whatever it is that fills your cup back up, make a point to do it just a little, every day, or at least every week. And if afterwards you don’t feel re-energized, like you’ve contributed to the world and to your soul, it is not your passion, and it’s time to find out what is.
I know it will be hard, because when life gets busy, our passions/hobbies are the first to go. That’s why my passion, writing, is the first thing I drop when life gets hectic (as some of you have noticed). But writing is what gets me through the hard times; it’s what gives me my sense of purpose, so I’m not doing myself, or anyone else, any favors by choosing dusting first.
Make the time, and make it count.
So be bold, babe, and put the purpose back in your life by putting the passion back in you.
xoxo,
Bold Babe